The Thick Dark Fog

major funding for the thick dark thought was provided by the corporation for public broadcasting you and moon roof zipper sue savage and uncivilized i am human i am a law called the like thousands of others were life was turned upside down through the trial system designed by louis i am fine releases

or higher it's magic walter decided that he wanted to write

down his memories for his children and surely enjoyed he'd reached a block where he had started talking about his boarding school years and he couldn't throw it became very careful my own children are my estranged from them simply because i had never figured out how to be a father or even now how to be a human being and i realize that they didn't know anything about me because i never talked to them about what i was i talked last four years before we finally came to the end of what he had to say the

polls the people are the pieces on the city's buses all new homes now i know iran involving a sixteen mile quarter about all the better off i knew there were better schools but just be another house for a few minutes i was good enough it's b he gets

twenty years ago a man in the community i lived in and connecticut started a clothing drive for indians on this reservation and he said that they were dying at the cauldron they are starchy friend of mine came to me aren't here is upset over it and i said what do you mean what like so many ways that was created this morning's readings you seem to be on the mind every minute of the day is i had been punished to instill a different way of life and i didn't understand

the blm and the governor's school i try to lower forty two for the appellate court a line from a window if you have a deep sense of preservation for our culture language so or the golan heights have to reduce the accord if we get caught there were allowed to be less so with whatever they could but we took the chance the law called the language is something that come from deep inside you and it comes from how you look at things and how you see things sometimes i feel like i'm able to communicate with women

a lower court the feeling is what form some idea like trying to put that into the english language but at times it just doesn't seem to work to lose a lot of confidence in myself was the war we need an interpreter one night i went to seven eleven store to pick up some things and i pass by a rack of magazines well off the shelf as banks

but in march of nineteen eighty five walter drove across country with a friend of harrison he spoke at the local library that's right after that we try and we try to gather there were various ideas that would be helpful for the people and wanted me they're safe

this was where i wanted to boarding school experience had of did a lot more damage and we realized we will make sure ashamed of our culture we were called uncivilized we were called savages who forced to submit to something and we don't even know what did he want we will never be able to forget what happens to those memories will be with us all the time you know he it is you to remember creation her youth in order so

it's not there you use you know rachel he came upon a relief because new power here and will lead to save her trio of court that service that would cause the hardwood

and a lot of the girls that's what they use to make the walls and there was a long time ago there were operatives stout pollution only up to the us aware that just the rotted on the insides of this tree was there when i was a little boy prof ellis is already in i was the youngest well my mother's to ensure my time i was free all the rest were away from the lower court and then actually as easy as

breathing know one side has done to preachers adults guided us as like prison in different situations nearly sixty years and she twisted into something else creating teaser city and state children's education

and a writer you were there might not every imaginable to getting these kids into the school's heating them nineteen forty seven zero in humans most are golden rule is still the same

we won't your snowball fight you know there will also play like that that too noisy or couldn't throw snowballs at all stuff like set of all forbidden he's been with all of this modern stuff with all of these new designs whistle of the new buildings and playgrounds still doesn't change incentives are still hip displacement don't like it and i never saw really about all of the air well actually the romero without like that because i used to be able to may's lackluster report points within minutes partially or so

in this state most older sisters went to boarding school had a haircut so i wonder the hair cut my grandmother silvia no i tell i die are mom and dad at that no not corpus you told me a twenty atoms we know what he does that we do not ever occur to her huge instrument you don't cut hair and tell yours alone in early march you know cross racer here in this building used to be clear that so they get a cut your hair all your polls take their cooling give your calls the chatter on the nation's caught me and around the grand court grabbed my hair my mom brain just kind of

one there we are harvests are scoring from my mind at that time no i remember was the day that my mom there were better their current owner what's going on here every time i tried talking about his boarding school years he reached the same block we went to his doctor at the va hospital and its doctors said keep talking as painful as it is it is it is keep talking during all those memories and he said don't be afraid of any of the emotions that

come with them go with those emotions those emotions come out so we started writing down his memories than we are the smell of food the crime of children a lot of these things are flashbacks emotionally psychologically you're right back at boarding school at five years old levi why i live or worse so as we said any

sensible strategy moving same things to us congress names and chickens around by inch paring back of your hand it year there have been rumors about click here to read more year they'd just beat you order you go to the war he'd have to put your hands on the desk and the desk lifted up and they would lift up in a jukebox in there and then they would come down to it right when you put your hands in and slammed the gas down on your hands we used to be a truly read by this

time and that's where i remember her walk in from the rain was a sense of familiarity but in demand and in recognizing couldn't quite make that connection to prevent what happened to me and it happened a lot of other kids case of not recognizing your own parents it is completely ropes that connection then so i ran down this way and i don't know what happened but i know that i know myself more

when walter and his memories that come out in fragments side write down what every sad and as time when i we started cutting those pieces of paper and putting memories together that belong together and then gene brought in a book prom and recovery by the office that was interned at and this was based on the holocaust but her when she was really i was able to pick up a lot of awards and replaceable it's the environment here and then they began to make sense and that's when i realized that my mind lack focus it was fragmented and i would change the subject to stay away from a lot of the pain

and i didn't even know of the pain was coming from i came she needs welter nominate his wife chain through my work here at the victims of violence program in cambridge somerville massachusetts vermont and jane walked into this building central street health center it was very clear that he was in a lot of pain listen in on the situation i don't remember exactly when this was taking this out we were the last pictures that we have as though my sister took all of these pictures and alcohol acquire and not all of them so this is a family friend has all the older brothers and a small says they endured in this is the year

but this is the worst fictional were able to salvage suppliers brussels just under six minutes mr mike day the family that started the rest a single small cloud appeared and otherwise blue sky that's paul sadler it just about right here and i have my mother now we're on their side and i think my dad was sitting right here right emissions suddenly able to lighten the shutdown through the chimney you opened that would store your and struck my father did

two brothers on the side of my bed and never got hurt or killed him instantly as a generation i begin to realize that the trauma that we like or experienced for so many generations is a part of who we are today even before the reservation was established allen lot of the wars and the massacre that took place it's half of generation to generation to leverage is to be a fierce to have flashbacks we still experience a lot of the

pain of those memories and people want to know why they drink so much people want a lawyer know why they were abusing their own families walters experience embodies the context of intergenerational trauma so you have a culture that survive near genocide and its knees and then you took a child out of this family and everything that kept them alive there was no context in which to talk about deep use intensity separate legally keep its scenery and keep silent in their large there wasn't a place where ses we can

save lives we would go into the theater porsche most of the movies we've never had to its home has always a roy rogers gene autry and those all we detail the horses who was all we did it there just before we would him normally somebody standing there would say whenever you see the kill they start clapping their hands and they start stop and you think if they didn't speak you said good boss anything above below your league oh no that's true

oh sure take you know obama on the bowery all right fine so this is the pre k all i knew was that he is a lot of the press

was this a last resort well you'll always see what he thought about bringing things from home trying to school in oregon they were poor

all the aha that they'll do now sixty one thing that always will

i just knew those subsidies are you could destroy the indian society and its roots which is a family than i am than you'd been you destroy the society and children are cause obviously have any family but especially i think indian families he had never seen children being beaten up on by adults in traditional lakota culture he chose her are you most precious resource and everything to harm children's also we were not it was ok to be a couple of kids and i was also ok to beat up

on her out next of kin your siblings or whatever so that behavior character it into marriage i know it has left mali from a number of time but i will always still buy it afterwards we travel in order to have the moon moon recruit warner oh yeah it didn't come from me naturally i was leaving part of it came from someplace that came from here to boarding school that whole trial associated regime

you're worse than the rest of us is it a surprise that they've become abusers while violently a social and psychological is all of the things that were done some omar former classmates committed suicide some drank themselves into this and others just a woman didn't care whether they lived for many different things it's been nice her survive seven years ago todd

community high school before my mother was allowed to transfer male to the holy rosary run by the cat perching high ridge for industry my mother was able to get new trans community public school i went there for two years graduation from the street and put our world on the reservation had become more or less meaningless there was no place to go singing fools to do no movies no libraries no public transportation no jobs available can make a decent life in the seventies they left the reservation

it is do you know it's a girl reading and gao gao at out

something will begin a new movie shows there was so many years things that you like so so it is fb i know there's a request was made the nightly

gunfire rang out on the planes at wounded knee south dakota much of the building unions are from an extremely militant group called ain't a new set of bases wounded need to focus attention on their charges of corruption and mismanagement in the bureau of indian affairs it will empty well i mean i met this is very convinced fellow this is destroyed

in nineteen sixty eight anyone who knew he would have to have with fifth this is your first festival of the eighth fb group

their supporters once was a shadowy military force no electricity people that the best way we could witness a longstanding friendships trust or replaced with suspicion and help students who are left a lot of you know healthy in just months as beans rice

beans so this is something the pope twenty years out solo lessons in la copa spirituality attend his sweat lodges settling the hills and saw beijing's he had nightmares of a government boarding school that loneliness the beatings seemed to come back stronger they seem to be on my mind every minute of the day my true sense of self worth a third way down deep inside of me finally a breakthrough in my understanding came when i saw a counselor at the victims of violence program in boston massachusetts they gave me the

name of what i was suffering from complex post traumatic stress once my fear had a name i could battle it didn't win walters world how they became quite small and tell you settle to process and begin to reconnect with the condemned always had listening to help people sometimes a girl and the budget would go out and visit with elderly people disappear on top of them some kind of holy water for that march maybe a brilliant firewood with them and it just it was a good feeling so after the service than idea relocated eventually get certified as

eleanor a counselor but that didn't feel in that void he had seen such a decline in this community which he had grown up in and after the nineteen seventy three an occupation where people tended to withdraw and they tended to mistrust each other not work together like ahab is that occupation and he had ideas that perhaps what's more caring and cheering and the community here at you know christmas gatherings and to bring people out of their homes to socialize together he tried to gardening i think people donating violence jenkins and

go about the world it was trying to deny the atmosphere that he had grown up in to try to restore it what are covered up as you know the takeover at wounded knee by the american indian movement and the response of the federal government and i remember aside from the crushing poverty a pervasive sense on the reservation of depression it seemed almost as if the whole uprising and its aftermath with people being hurt some people being killed had stripped the people there of their self respect their self esteem was that the hardest part to overcome basically we a divided is doing up into three different parts to every product that we've developed morales also for developing self or self confidence a little respect which

i felt that was completely destroyed there was too much drinking people or die in a lot of sickness is it was a case of school starvation during that time people were kind of survival and fifty four dollars a month so we tried a number of products sometimes it was trial america in the end we are still a long ways to go live on the pine ridge reservation in terms of pride and really in terms of the quality of life is better because of that we tried everything to try to bring life back to the community a singular of our work to a certain point but i was hoping that it would catch on and i let god go along let's sell that it never did or real

real hard and at that point he was able finally get his whole life and see it in its entirety and at that point he began to piece positive memory started commentary and never thought about for years buried under our eyes that he had displayed as an adult buried under it all was the positive of what it means to be cold the fear created by those

meetings dangerfield my mind is clear even today after so many years the memory of the elders who raised and strong i see you know more difficult times here they had no need to beat their children their wives have no need to shop or says they kept me the trio then you deep in their souls and uncivilized marriage for walter to come forward and tell a story in this for the right to drink this legacy of isolation do you tell your story and you learned something from your life story and you

can share it with others that's how healing thousands more survivors then hand feet now of course from npr news christmas is you know about the brussels as just a story of a ship was very much part of our culture is the volunteers not

till the sun and he says the father tells the son that volatility order but as part of the culture uncle steps in to fill the father's position but he's never been to cross sell your last pictures of we have different but the time purple butterfly or wilma had one picture of one family picture that was that we were able to sell cellphones that time after the present digital information federal government for the utility at the time to write about the other than fifty indian artifacts the guy that collected all the other facts about the election in nineteen thirty five feet from the indians over the wild west show when they were at the world's fair of nineteen thirty five so i found a few pictures and that's the very first one i thought

was walter's savvy i recognized it immediately the two tests that i had that was just incredible i had a tv crew that's spelled y because the heart about the story of a sense maybe we can fly we do should we drive it's big most of the world's most dangerous and just for history think of their business

bill wilson there's his history that we need this that is to say it's it has been the frosting on the cake today as

the defense lawyer the history of our family is something that we think is the district's stand up and walk a little bit more tolerant yeah i'd say that's certainly disabused us that's right you earn the right to be a leak and i need a lot of respect in a lot on our aid to reach that level of being human they didn't need something to last today is an increasing

distance grandparents the future is here to create a new cd pretty in new moon never

do know tune for more information about the thick dark fog visit in a pt online at native telecom dot or g today i am and who is

it major funding for the thick dark thought was provided by the corporation for public broadcasting to order a copy of the thick dark fog call one eight seven seven eight six a two to five zero or visit sharp vision make or dot or ji also he says or

eighty eight